I’m high maintenance. And I couldn’t give a fuck what you think about that.
Growing up, I was told that “boys don’t like when girls are high maintenance”, and “nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s high maintenance”. And can I just say, what absolute bullshit was that?!
Firstly, if someone wants me to edit any part of myself in order to make them feel comfortable, then I don’t want that person in my life. You either accept people as they are, or you remove them from your life. It really is that simple! You don’t have to control people.
Secondly, why the hell is being called high maintenance a bad thing? There are a few different meanings of high maintenance from what I’ve gathered; it can apply to your appearance, your attitude, your personality and even your standards. Here’s why I keep myself as high maintenance as I possible can be.
It’s one thing when people start calling you high maintenance because of the way you look, or take care of your appearance. If I want to over-dress every day of the week, if I want to do a full face of makeup, if I want to spend over £100 on skincare, how the hell does that affect you and your life? Have you honestly nothing better to do than judge my appearance? Insecurity speaks volumes here. I dress the way I do because I want to, and I like to have a certain standard for myself. Just because you don’t see me in my sweatpants and make-up-less face doesn’t mean I don’t revel in those moments all the same.
But what really gets me, is when people start calling you high maintenance because of your personality, and your attitude. I know I’m high maintenance, because I demand an awful lot from the people I surround myself with. I want loyalty, I want camaraderie, I want real friendships and relationships that can talk about ideas and places and books instead of gossip about other people. In relationships, I want respect. I want an equal. I want someone who can match me in every way. To be honest, I want to be absolutely adored!
And why shouldn’t I want that? Why should we all not want that? If you know that you bring an awful lot to the table, why shouldn’t you demand it back. I respect people, I’m intensely loyal to the people I care about, I’m a great listener, I counsel your through your problems, I can make you laugh, and I can be there for you when no one else will be.
If you read that last paragraph and thought, “wow, she’s certainly full of herself”, you can exit this blog right now. Self love and self appreciation is something we should all have more of. What’s wrong with being proud of yourself?? What’s wrong with celebrating the good parts about yourself and shouting them from the rooftops? In London, people are so chilled when it comes to taking themselves up, and yet in Ireland – the nation of begrudgers – we’re actually told to talk ourselves down. WHY!!!!!!!!! Can you not see how damaging that is??
Celebrate yourself. Celebrate your achievements, your goals, your skills, your traits, anything that you like about yourself, be proud of it. Don’t talk yourself down because it will only damage your mental state. Don’t turn down your light just because it’s shining in someone else’s eyes.
If that means I’m high maintenance, then I sure as hell am.